Our relationships with others are not only built on the foundation of love and respect but also on trust. For a relationship to be successful, none of these ingredients must be missing. Because once the trust is gone, the relationship will falter, and eventually crumble.
Speaking from experience, I can assure you that nothing is more important in a relationship – whether romantic or platonic – than trust. Even when you do business, you’d prefer to do business with trustworthy people, won’t you?
Psychotherapists say that one of the first bonds we develop is trust. The moment we’re born, we look for patterns of sustainability and reliability. Trust is more than just comfort, it is a deeply rooted survival mechanism as well.
Who we choose to trust shapes our relationships. We learn how to trust just to survive in this chaotic world. However, when others fail to keep that trust or when you realize that not all people can be trusted, you lose the value, the importance of trust.
I mean, “if I don’t deserve their trust, others don’t deserve my trust either, right?”
Trust is such an important part of our emotional growth and development. Losing that trust can be detrimental to our emotional and social health. Of course, white lies may not be as harmful as deliberately hurting someone with lies.
So, how do you spot the signs of an untrustworthy partner, friend, or colleague? Here are some of the common signs of an untrustworthy person that you shouldn’t ignore.
Signs Of An Untrustworthy Person
1. They change details about a single story
One of the signs someone is untrustworthy is to pay attention to their description of a single story. If your friend is giving contradictory information about a story, it’s a red flag. However, before jumping to conclusions, allow them to clarify the unsettling details.
2. They avoid acknowledging their wrongs
If your partner or friend refuses to acknowledge their wrongs, then it can be another sign of an untrustworthy partner or friend. Of course, once someone avoids taking responsibility for their actions, it can be hard to trust them in the future.
3. They hide lots of secrets
If your partner is hiding parts of their life from you, then it leaves a lot of room for doubt and their motives. Transparency is another aspect of trust and when someone hides a part of themselves from people who care about them, it can be a sign that they are not trustworthy.
4. They are unreliable
An untrustworthy person is someone who repeatedly goes back on their words and promises. While canceling a date once in a while is understandable, doing it again and again can look flaky. An untrustworthy person is highly unreliable and lacks accountability.
5. They make you uncomfortable or uneasy
More often than not, one of the signs someone is untrustworthy can include feelings of anxiety and uneasiness around them. Like I said before, trust your gut. If you feel unsafe around someone, it can be a sign of untrustworthiness.
6. They don’t trust others
Another telltale sign of an untrustworthy person is that they don’t trust others easily. They often lack confidence not only in themselves but in others as well. They are more likely to accuse others of the same actions they commit.
7. They don’t respect boundaries
An untrustworthy person is more likely to break and disrespect boundaries. They don’t understand the concept of personal space, either. When someone doesn’t feel remorse for disrespecting someone’s personal space, it’s a big red flag that shouldn’t be ignored.
8. They lack empathy
Empathy and trust might go hand in hand. When there is no empathy, there can be no trust. If someone constantly ignores your feelings, pain, or is just unaware of your discomfort, then it can be a sign of an untrustworthy person.
9. Their actions are unpredictable
According to another psychotherapist, untrustworthy people are unpredictable with their actions and emotions. Their compass of integrity is unsteady and are more likely to go back on their words.
10. They tend to dominate conversations
Another red flag that shouldn’t be ignored is that untrustworthy people tend to dominate conversations. They over-talk and don’t let others take over a conversation. They are good storytellers so they can take over the conversation easily.
11. They often blame others
If you suspect someone is untrustworthy then note how they blame others. If your friend is unkind or bullies others but claims they are a victim then it’s a red flag that shouldn’t be ignored.
12. They often go “over the top”
An untrustworthy person is also likely to go over the top until you can’t passively respond to their praises. Other actions can include gifting expensive things when there is no need. If you feel uncomfortable with this, remember that it’s better to walk away than stay with them.
13. They don’t communicate clearly
Lastly, an untrustworthy person doesn’t communicate well. They hardly get to the point and let others make guesses. They keep others confused. If you suspect someone is untrustworthy, make note of their communication style.
Also Read: Learning To Trust After Betrayal: Trust But Verify
What To Do?
According to experts, if you often encounter an untrustworthy person, you should try to avoid engaging with them as much as possible. If you feel uneasy around them, walk away from them without feeling guilty.
Next, you should always remember to trust your instincts. Your guts hardly betray you. Untrustworthy people would want you to listen to their words rather than pay attention to their body language. Whether you believe it or not, your brain and your gut know what’s up. When people lie, their tone, their voice, and body language change. Pay attention to these small cues.
Lastly, always have a backup plan ready. If your untrustworthy partner or untrustworthy friend says that they’ll bring desserts for the party, be sure that you buy some anyway, in case they come empty-handed. Instead of engaging with them or confronting them, be sure that they’re aware of their slip-up.
If You’re Struggling with Trust Issues and Acceptance Counseling Can Help You.
I hope these signs of an untrustworthy person will help you spot the untrustworthy one in your life. For more, you can write to us at info@calmsage.com or you can DM us on our social media.
How do you deal with an untrustworthy friend? Let us know in the comments below.
Take care.
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