Breakups can be difficult to deal with, especially after a long-term relationship, and can bring up feelings of anger, pain, guilt, hurt and sadness to name a few. Dealing with those emotions at that time can feel overwhelming and can hinder the process of moving on. Therefore, navigating the dos and don’ts after a breakup can be confusing and challenging at times, be it how you are going to stay friends with them (if you even will), how you’ll handle social media or how you’ll communicate with them.
Whatever the case may be, setting clear boundaries can help make the post-breakup process a little easier for both partners. Boundaries are just as crucial after a breakup as they are during a relationship in terms of maintaining emotional wellness and a civil relationship with your ex.
Here are a few ways to help you set healthy boundaries with your ex:
Allow yourself some time
Getting in touch or staying friends with your ex immediately after a breakup can mess things up. All the feelings can hinder the process of moving on. It’s critical to recognize that a breakup is a loss and that grieving is a necessary component of the recovery process. When you allow yourself some time away from your ex, it helps you to process your emotions in a better way. It can be anything from indulging in self-care routines to talking to a therapist.
Talk to them
When you’re both ready, you and your ex should be able to discuss the boundaries you both want to set. Try to have an honest and open discussion. It’s okay if your opinions and ideas differ. Focus on finding a beneficial middle ground that is easy and works for both of you.
Decide what boundaries you require right now
Some boundaries are firm and will never change, while others might change in the future. So decide which boundaries you need right now, and don’t worry if they might change in the future. Evaluate your reason for each boundary you want to set and take your time with it.
Involve a third party to help
Setting boundaries can sometimes be challenging as there might be disagreements. Involving a third party, in order to figure out what boundaries you need or reach an agreement can be beneficial. A therapist or a relationship counsellor can help you figure it out.
The change from being a couple to being just friends can be difficult. And boundaries play an important role. Some of the healthy boundaries that can be set are:
Keep the conversation simple
Involve others in the conversation
Refrain from hanging out alone
Respect each other’s personal space
Decide the frequency of the meeting if you’re staying friends
Let go of the past
Block them if you need to
Importance of Professional Counseling: A friend or family member may listen to you, but they aren’t professionally, technically qualified or experienced to offer you professional advice. If you wish you can contact us at MindTribe to receive help from our team of expert psychologists.
About MindTribe.in.
MindTribe Founder Dr. Prerna Kohli, India’s eminent psychologist, established the company to leverage the strength of the online to make counseling affordable and accessible to everyone. MindTribe provides counseling, workshops, support groups, forums, and eLearning.
About the Author.
Kriyanshi Shah is a psychologist at MindTribe.in. You can learn more about her by clicking here
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of MindTribe.in, the Founders, or management team.
Acknowledgement: All images used are open source and from Unsplash.