We often talk about red flags in relationships: platonic, romantic or familial. We all acknowledge what we don’t want in these relationships, at least to some extent. However, green flags — behaviours and feelings that we enjoy in relationships are rarely discussed. With the help of this article, you’ll be able to recognise signs that your friendship is healthy and where it can be improved.
1. Safety:
You feel safe in the friendship. Your body understands that this is a safe zone. You feel heard, understood, and cared for in the friendship. Your known triggers are understood, and they make sure that you feel emotionally safe.
2. Support:
You feel supported in your journey together. They’re happy at your victories, there for you at your losses. You feel warm in the friendship, and you know that you can rely on them for support.
3. Growth:
You are encouraged to have healthy conversations in this friendship. A space where you’re allowed to grow in any aspect of your life that you wish. Sometimes, a friend might also (respectfully) call out an unhelpful behaviour pattern exhibited by you.
4. Respect:
Your boundaries are respected, and their boundaries are communicated explicitly. As a person, you feel validated by your friend. Your emotions are accepted and understood as a subjective truth.
5. Communication:
Their thoughts and feelings are communicated to you. It isn’t your job to guess how your friend feels or what they’re thinking about and live in that apprehension. Instead, you know whether or not the two of you are on the same page.
6. Accountability:
If there has been a conflict between you both, then they take accountability for their actions that might have caused you distress. The two of you can come to a resolution, which is then worked upon.
Ultimately, green flags and red flags are broad categories maintained if the particular behaviour is consistent; the behaviour happens regularly, and the exceptions to it are understood. One person cannot meet all our needs. However, as long as your friend exhibits consistent behaviours aligned with your needs and values, listens to the conflicts and works on them together with you, and respects you and cares for you, the behaviours that fall under “green flags” and “red flags” are allowed to be subjective.
If you notice any of the above green flags in your friendship, acknowledge it with the friend!
Importance of Professional Counseling: A friend or family member may listen to you, but they aren’t professionally, technically qualified or experienced to offer you professional advice. If you wish you can contact us at MindTribe to receive help from our team of expert psychologists.
About MindTribe.in.
MindTribe Founder Dr. Prerna Kohli, India’s eminent psychologist, established the company to leverage the strength of the online to make counseling affordable and accessible to everyone. MindTribe provides counseling, workshops, support groups, forums, and eLearning.
About the Author.
Durva Bhatt is a psychologist at MindTribe.in. You can learn more about her by clicking here
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of MindTribe.in, the Founders, or management team.
Acknowledgement: All images used are open source and from Unsplash.