Content warning: This article discusses suicide, which may be triggering for some readers. If you are struggling with serious suicidal thoughts, please reach out for support. In the U.S., you can dial 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or seek immediate medical attention if you are in danger.
Struggling with your mental health can be isolating, overwhelming, and scary, especially if you’re in a dark place and are having suicidal thoughts. It’s important to know you’re not alone. Support is available and relief is possible. You can take simple, immediate steps to stop the cycle of suicidal thinking, so you feel safer and in control.
Read on to learn how to stop suicidal thoughts and why having a personal safety plan can help when things feel too heavy to handle.
Suicidal Thoughts Are a Sign of Pain, Not Weakness
Suicidal thoughts are often a sign of deep emotional suffering. They’re not because you’ve failed, you’re weak, or you use attention-seeking behavior. Suicidal ideation often comes from deep pain caused by overwhelming emotions or trauma. Having suicidal thoughts can feel like you’re completely alone in this world, but it’s more common than you might know.
If you’re thinking about taking your own life, it’s crucial to understand that those thoughts aren’t permanent—feelings aren’t forever, even if they seem desperately urgent or all-consuming right now.
Immediate Actions to Take When You’re in Crisis
If you’re currently in a mental health crisis or have a history of suicidal thinking, there are proven steps you can take right now to help yourself, even if things seem overwhelming.
Remove access to harmful tools
When you’re having dark thoughts, it’s essential to remove access to things that could be dangerous. It’s critical, even if it’s only temporarily, if you’re considering self-harm. Experts note that limiting access to lethal items is a life-saving step that can prevent suicide.
Reach out for help
If possible, call, text, or contact someone in your life you trust. Sometimes, even just voicing your feelings out loud can ease the pressure you’re feeling.
Use grounding techniques
Grounding practices have been found in research to:
- Promote calmness
- Reduce anxiety
- Regulate heart and respiratory rates
- Improve mood and cognitive function
- Enhance sleep quality
Grounding techniques, such as deep breathing exercises, yoga or meditation, and mindfulness activities, can help you bring yourself into the present and reduce distress. Research shows that even a few minutes of deep breathing can immediately calm you down and help improve your mood.
If you’re in crisis and need emotional support, call, text, or chat with a crisis line by dialing or texting 988 in the U.S. You are not alone.
Creating a Personal Safety Plan
“Writing out a safety plan, either on your own, with a therapist, or a trusted person in your life can make a significant difference in managing suicidal thoughts. The safety plan often includes the following: identifying your warning signs, both emotional and physical cues that alert you to being in a heightened state of concern; a list of strategies that can help in these moments (safe distractions like TV, music, movement, art/crafts, grounding exercises such as square breathing): a list with phone numbers of safe people to contact (friends, family, therapist, medical doctor, religious leader); a list of crisis hotlines either by voice or text lines; the address of the closest emergency room.”
– Talkspace therapist Jill Daino, LCSW-R, BC-TMH
Identify your warning signs
When you have suicidal thoughts, there might be emotional cues that occur leading up to a crisis point. Being able to identify them allows you to use coping skills to recover before your symptoms worsen. Be aware of:
- Racing thoughts
- A looming sense of dread
- Feeling numb
- Increased agitation
- Feeling hopeless or worthless
- Feeling like you’re a burden
- The urge to withdraw from others
- Sleeping more
- Difficulty sleeping
- Intense depression symptoms or emotional pain
- Inner turmoil
- Thoughts like “I just can’t do this anymore,” “It would be so much easier if I just disappeared,” “Nobody would miss me if I were gone,” or “Things will never get better—what’s the point?”
Other physical signs to be aware of include your body feeling heavy, lacking the energy to do things you once loved, or feeling like you don’t want to see people you care about. These can all be early warning signs. Noticing them can help you act or seek help before it’s too late.
List your coping tools and safe distractions
Having even a short list of tools or distractions to reference in times of crisis can be beneficial. Don’t worry about what you think you should put in your plan. List what you know will actually help you. There’s no right or wrong way to make a safety plan. Use things you know are calming and can refocus your attention away from dark thoughts. Make sure your list is easily accessible and includes contact information for loved ones.
Writing down the plan, rather than keeping it in your head, is important. It gives you something tangible to rely on if your mind is cloudy or hope feels impossible.
Some powerful depression coping skills include:
- Listening to your favorite song
- Going for a walk or hike outside
- Drawing, coloring, or doodling
- Talking to your “safe person”
- Practicing your favorite grounding techniques
- Working out
“You can keep a written safety plan in several places in your home or with you if you are away from home and have a digital copy in your phone. Having it written out ahead of time makes it much easier to stay safe in moments of crisis, since in those moments it can be difficult to come up with what to do, and having the safety plan makes it clear as to what steps to take to stay safe and get support. It is also a reminder of the hard work you are putting in to manage these thoughts and gives you control over taking the next steps to support yourself during these difficult times.”
– Talkspace therapist Jill Daino, LCSW-R, BC-TMH
Reaching Out for Support
Having thoughts about suicide is incredibly lonely, but you don’t have to go through it alone. While it’s common to worry about burdening others or fear that people won’t understand, support can come in many different forms. You may have a close friend or family member you trust, or you can start therapy or join a support group.
Speaking up and asking for help can be difficult, especially if your dark thoughts include shame or numbness. Even if you’re intimidated or scared to ask for help, it can be the first step in lifting the heaviness in your life.
If you’re unsure about what to say, try simple phrases, like the following:
- I’m really struggling right now. Can you help me?
- I’m having a tough time and could use you.
- I’ve recently been having some dark thoughts, and I really need your support.
If you don’t have someone to talk to
If you feel like you don’t have a friend or family member you can reach out to, there are still safe and supportive options available:
- School counselors, teachers, or campus mental health centers
- Community mental health clinics
- Support groups
- Online forums and peer-support communities for mental health
- Suicide prevention hotlines and text lines
If you’re in the United States, you can dial or text 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline and speak with trained counselors immediately. You can also visit 988lifeline.org for additional resources and support.
Challenging the Lies Suicidal Thoughts Tell You
Suicidal thoughts distort reality. They can convince you that you’re not worthy of love, nothing will ever get better, or the world will be better off without you in it. While these thoughts can be powerful and persuasive, remember that they’re just thoughts. They’re not facts.
These are symptoms of your pain. This type of thinking is known as cognitive distortions. They’re thought patterns that exaggerate a sense of hopelessness and convince you that you’re not strong enough to survive.
Common distortions include:
- All or nothing thinking: Black and white thinking that filters out any gray areas and makes things seem worse than they are. For example, you might eat one unhealthy snack when you’re trying to change your eating habits, and then you find yourself immediately thinking, “I’m a total failure. I may as well give up on eating healthy for the rest of the day.”
- Catastrophizing: You jump to the absolute worst scenario or outcome despite having no real evidence. You might realize you made a mistake at work and automatically convince yourself that you’re definitely going to be fired.
- Personalization: You feel responsible for things you can’t realistically control, which causes feelings of shame or anxiety and a low sense of self-worth. Maybe a friend doesn’t respond to your text right away, so you start thinking you did something wrong and that they’re mad at you.
If any of these resonate with you, try reframing your thoughts. Focus on what you know to be true. Remember that your mind is powerful, and it can convince you of things that aren’t real. If you’re struggling to separate distorted thinking from reality, journaling for your mental health or talking to a therapist can help.
“Suicidal thoughts are often scary and overwhelming; at the same time, they can contribute to someone not seeing the whole picture in those moments. It is like tunnel vision when in pain. Being able to zoom out and talk through these thoughts with a licensed mental health professional offers hope, strategies to manage challenging thoughts and feelings, while at the same time building compassion for yourself. The pain of suicidal thoughts can be worked on in a safe manner with a therapist who can listen non-judgmentally and offer alternatives to manage life’s difficulties.”
– Talkspace therapist Jill Daino, LCSW-R, BC-TMH
Finding Long-Term Help and Healing Through Different Types of Therapy
During low or difficult periods when you’re in a dark place, ongoing mental health support is critical. If you’re having recurring or chronic suicidal thoughts, ongoing therapy can offer a consistent, judgment-free space to process your feelings and learn tools to manage your pain. Studies show that nearly 96% of people who go to therapy report fewer suicidal thoughts.
The types of therapy that are known for helping with thoughts of suicide:
- Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT is a type of talk therapy that helps you identify and change unhealthy and unhelpful thought patterns. It offers coping mechanisms and encourages you to challenge cognitive distortions that may be linked to suicidal ideation.
- Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT): DBT is commonly used to help people manage intense emotions like suicidal thoughts. This form of therapy teaches practical skills and focuses on emotional regulation and distress tolerance.
- Trauma-informed therapy: If the source of your pain roots back to trauma or loss, trauma-informed therapy can help you process difficult memories and build resilience.
- Mindfulness and meditation techniques: Mindfulness and meditation help quiet the mind, allowing you to focus on yourself and the present moment, even in times of distress.
Get Mental Health Help with Talkspace
If you’re looking for professional mental health help, you can start your therapy journey with Talkspace. We connect you with licensed, experienced, qualified therapists who are trained to guide you during times of crisis. With text messaging therapy, flexible scheduling, and a judgment-free space to find support, you don’t have to struggle in silence. If you’re wondering how to stop having suicidal thoughts but aren’t sure where to get mental health help, Talkspace can provide resources through a licensed therapist.
Whether your pain has lasted for years or it’s something new, you deserve care that’s accessible, affordable, and meets you where you are. Contact Talkspace today to discover how online therapy can make healing a possibility.
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