Romantasy is taking the world by storm. As an avid reader, I can attest to the way this genre — a mix of high fantasy and romance with a healthy dose of smut — has become inescapable over the past few years, whether you’re scrolling through BookTok lists of romantasy favorites or browsing the romantasy table at your local Barnes & Noble. A Court of Thorns and Roses (and its many sequels), Fourth Wing, From Blood and Ash, and Quicksilver are just a few of the vanguards of this subgenre, but new entries seem to come out every day. Romantasy is becoming what paranormal romance was back in the late 2000s-early 2010s: the genre of the decade.
It’s also perhaps the first time we’re seeing a romance- and sex-heavy genre go fully mainstream. And because this popularity is driven by a mostly female fan base, there’s been plenty of pearl-clutching as well — along with genuine curiosity about how romantasy might affect our sex lives IRL.
The benefits are many, experts say. “I have known a quite a few patients who very openly and explicitly discussed their love for certain authors and series of romantasy books, almost to the point it presented as a mild addiction,” sex and relationships therapist Dr. Karen Stewart, PsyD, tells SheKnows. Her clients love these books because they can “indulge their every fantasy,” from what their dream partner would look like to how they themselves would love to be treated, plus sexy, fantastical scenarios that could never play out in the real world. “The boost of serotonin and dopamine release from the sexual content can create feelings of sexual arousal that can lead to anything from a warm smile on their face thinking about what they just read, to amazing material for masturbation.” Some of her clients tell her they use their romantasy books as fantasies during sex with their partners, too.
Of course, this kind of reading material isn’t new new. Women have loved romance novels and erotica for ages, Dr. Stewart points out. (Remember the old “bodice ripper” covers?) The difference these days is that the craving for romantasy — and especially the hot, explicit scenes — is much more out in the open, and women are reaping the rewards.
“Clinically, I’m seeing positive impact on women’s sex lives in the form of a renewed sense of sexual empowerment,” couples and sex therapist Gabby Jimmerson tells SheKnows. “This genre — in all its chosen-one heroine meets tortured, dark fated mate via forced-proximity glory — has a way of helping women connect to their sexual selves.” For many women, this means feeling more free to desire, enjoy, and ask for sex, Jimmerson explains. Romantasy can also be a way back into desire for women who have felt disconnected from their sexual selves, says sex and relationships therapist and author Tammy Nelson, PhD.
Then there’s the safety aspect. With these books, many romantasy readers feel they can explore parts of their sexuality without shame, judgment, or guilt, in a way they can opt into and pause at any time. “It’s playful,” explains Sarah Sumner, LCSW, a sex and relationship therapist and clinical supervisor at Empowered Fulfillment Therapy. You may not actually want to get intimate with a werewolf, for example, but the sense of danger — without actually being in danger — is the turn-on. With romantasy, Sumner notes, that feeling “can be recreated consensually.” Taking note of the things that turn you on can also give you ideas to bring back to your IRL relationship, or clarify what’s missing from it.
The drawback? That crash back into real life when we inevitably have to close the book, Nelson says. You might start comparing your partner to the hero in your romantasy world, an ideal they can’t hope to live up to, especially if you don’t communicate your desires to them, Nelson says.
Speaking of unrealistic expectations, there are some popular romantasy tropes that simply can’t be recreated in the real world. “Romantasy storylines about wingspan, a mate’s ability to just know what their partner wants, and even the ease of sexual compatibility all make for great storytelling,” Jimmerson points out. “But real relationships and real intimacy comes with context, requires communication, and involves real bodies.”
The reason romantasy runs so smoothly is that the author has the ability to skate past all the awkward, unsexy parts, what Sumner calls “the messiness of real intimacy.” That might be the time it takes for the desire to build, or the communication involved with figuring out what you and your partner want. “Depending on the content, romantasy novels can also create unrealistic expectations around pleasure and foreplay,” she says. Some narratives may perpetuate harmful stereotypes, from instant arousal to nonconsensual power dynamics or messaging around what bodies “should” look like or do. “‘Shoulds’ are never sexy,” Sumner points out.
What romantasy can do for our sex lives is provide empowerment, entertainment, and inspiration — not instruction, Jimmerson says. “Overall, romantasy can be a fabulous jumping off point to self-discovery and empowerment. The only word of caution is to remember that fiction is not real life,” she explains. “Real intimacy and connection requires communication, effort, and honesty because, unfortunately, even the most dedicated partners don’t have fated-mate mind-reading abilities.”