Planning, preparation, pressure: a lot of things go into a marriage proposal. Some people opt for the extravagant; others, something simple and sweet. No matter big or small the production, the main thing is that both partners feel loved, appreciated, and connected to each other — and, of course, excited to get married. Unfortunately, one woman on Reddit got exactly none of those things from her fiancé when he proposed, and it’s making her question everything.
Now, we know how some people might read into that. It’s easy to assume that the woman (aka our OP, Reddit-speak for original poster) had unrealistic expectations and might be blaming her fiancé for not being able to live up to them. Some commenters on Reddit appeared to come in with exactly that skeptical approach. But once OP gets into the context of the story, it becomes clear that this may not have been the case. If anything, OP has given her fiancé more understanding than he might deserve… but we’ll reserve judgment until you hear the whole story.
OP, who’s 28, has been with her 27-year-old fiancé for eight years and describes their relationship as “great” and “stable.” But the intense and “constant disappointment” that lingers from the proposal last year has her wondering how she can move forward, and whether she even wants to. She came to the relationship advice subreddit for advice, and Redditors had a lot to give. Here’s OP’s story and what Reddit thinks she should do now.