ADHD Spouse Burnout: What Is It, Symptoms, How To Cope, And More

Managing a partner with ADHD is the most challenging thing to do, their symptoms and triggers not only impact them but can also result in feelings of frustration and sadness in the other spouse. Dealing with the challenges of ADHD can impact the marriage or relationship directly. The common symptoms of ADHD such as impulsiveness, distractibility, and inattention can be overwhelming.

Surprisingly, there are various strategies that can help a spouse with ADHD make the relationship work. In this blog, we will be discussing what is ADHD spouse burnout, its symptoms, and how to deal with ADHD spouse burnout as directed by a Couples Therapist.

Let’s get started!

What is ADHD Spouse Burnout?

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental disorder that is usually diagnosed in childhood and the symptoms of ADHD frequently stay in adulthood. ADHD diagnosed during childhood usually persists into adulthood, study shows.

The primary symptoms of ADHD can be inattentiveness, lack of focus, hyperactivity, and impulsive speech or behaviors. Symptoms of ADHD can vary from personality to personality. In some adults, it can manifest in the form of hyperactivity. ADHD in adults can impact personal and professional life.

This may continue throughout life, however, with the help of the right diagnosis and treatment plans one can learn how to manage the symptoms and triggers effectively. At some point, the symptoms and difficulties can cause frustration, discouragement, and sadness. But this does not mean that people with ADHD can’t have successful relationships.

Research shows that breakup and divorce rates are twice as high as compared to people with no mental health issues. As I said, with the right help and support, people with ADHD can have successful and healthy marriages or relationships.

ADHD spouse burnout is generally caused by managing a spouse with ADHD. ADHD spouse burnout can lead to dissatisfaction, inability to run a marriage or relationship, sadness, and more.

Coping with your spouse’s ADHD can also impact your well-being directly. However, indulging in self-care, setting boundaries, communicating effectively, navigating obstacles, and remaining calm can help you manage the symptoms of ADHD in your spouse.

What Does ADHD in a Relationship Look Like?

The early stages of a relationship with an ADHD partner can look extremely romantic. Due to the symptoms such as hyperfocus, it lets ADHD partners be absorbed completely in their partner. In such a relationship, the ADHD partner acts more spontaneously and impulsively, which makes the couple make progress really quickly.

However, things turn out when the honeymoon phase gets over and couples start living a regular life (exactly when managing a household comes into action). Their unpredictable personality and impulsive behavior may result in communication issues, lack of intimacy, extreme frustration, and more.

Generally, a spouse married to an ADHD partner reduces their ability to tolerate frustration. As a result, this leads to a lack of empathy and an inability to resolve conflicts after some time.

The leading symptoms of ADHD such as impulsiveness, mood swings, restlessness, disorganization, and inattentiveness can result in more relationship problems and ADHD spouse burnout.

What are the Symptoms of ADHD Spouse Burnout?

If you’re in a relationship with an ADHD partner, you might experience ADHD spouse burnout because of symptoms and inability to understand the triggers. Symptoms such as impulsivity and restlessness can manifest negativity in the relationship.

In the end, the other partner ends up being frustrated and overwhelmed by taking on too many responsibilities and household duties. The need to micromanage everything in the relationship can lead to burnout. And the symptoms may look like:

Anger
Learned helplessness
Inability to complete tasks
Feeling neglected
Feeling overworked
Frustration

How to Deal with ADHD Spouse Burnout?

Supporting an ADHD spouse regularly can be challenging and harder especially when you neglect your own needs. If you’re struggling with responsibilities, unmet needs, and burnout, here’s what you can do to deal with ADHD spouse burnout:

1. Exercise regularly: Whenever you get time, try to move your body by exercising regularly. Exercise is one of the best ways to deal with burnout, stress, and anxiety.

2. Practice mindfulness: In order to seek motivation for fulfilling regular responsibilities, practice mindfulness regularly. You can try yoga, meditation, relaxation strategies, and others to help you keep motivated and mentally strong.

3. Get proper sleep: One of the best remedies to deal with burnout is to start practicing sleep hygiene. Sleep impacts your overall well-being negatively. Therefore, prioritize your sleep and also focus on getting naps at noon (if that’s possible).

4. Build your support: Surrounding yourself with people who support you can help you overcome the negativities around you. Some people might not be able to provide intact solutions but they can listen to you, therefore, pour out your feelings and communicate effectively.

5. Seek professional help: It’s important for your spouse to seek the right diagnosis and treatment and similarly, you need to take care of your mental wellbeing. Therefore, consider joining a support group or seeking counseling through a certified and experienced mental health professional to learn more about ADHD and its management as a couple.

6. Fulfill your needs: Living with an ADHD spouse may result in unmet needs, therefore, be a warrior, stand up for yourself, and become a good partner (for yourself and your partner too). If your partner forgets things continuously, don’t feel sad, know that they love you.

7. Reconsider duties: ADHD people are not bad at everything; they can still make things work. Consider what’s your partner good at, support them, and help them become more independent with the help of your strengths. If your partner forgets tasks or responsibilities, you can make a chore chart, set daily reminders, and communicate effectively.

8. Keep the spark alive: The spark of love must never dull, therefore, communicate your needs or goals with your partner and work together to make your relationship work. Herein, you can also take the help of a couple’s therapist.

9. Set healthy boundaries: Sit down with your partner, examine your goals, needs, or wants in the relationship, and set healthy boundaries. To protect you from future burnouts, plan ahead, and take steps important for keeping the relationship or marriage healthy. Always discuss such important things with your partner so that they can also comprehend and volunteer accordingly.

To connect with a mental health professional through online platforms, click below:

Get Help for ADHD

I hope this blog helps you understand everything you need to know about ADHD spouse burnout. Comment down and share your queries through the same or you can also write to us at Calm Sage.

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