Holly Madison Revealed the Heartbreaking, Nagging Thoughts Hugh Hefner Instilled in Her

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Holly Madison just gave more details about her heartbreaking time at the Playboy Mansion, including the thoughts Hugh Hefner gave her that led to having body dysmorphia.

In a recent interview with People, the Down the Rabbit Hole author talked about how being with Hefner at the Playboy Mansion gave her body dysmorphia. Specifically, she claimed Herner made her feel like she wasn’t enough.

“I would definitely say that living in the mansion created a body dysmorphia for me because I was always kind of wondering what’s wrong with me,” she said. “[Hugh] had a way of making me feel like I wasn’t pretty enough, and I would look around to everybody else and constantly be wondering, what’s so different about them and why are they so much better?”

She added, “It was constantly like, what can I do? What can I change? How can I look better?”

HOLMBY HILLS, CA – MAY 6: (L to R) Playboy bunny Sheila Levell, Playboy founder Hugh Hefner and Playboy bunny Holly Madison perform a scene during the filming of a commercial for “X Games IX” at the Playboy Mansion May 6, 2003 in Holmby Hills, California. This year’s X Games will take place at STAPLES Center in Los Angeles from August 14th through 18th. (Photo by Robert Mora/Getty Images)

While she did do plastic surgery a few times, she revealed that she stopped herself from doing any more past her rhinoplasty and breast augmentation, noting she thinks that if she continued, she could be looking like a plastic surgery nightmare right now! Because it was just constantly me wondering, what’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with me?”

Madisona and Hefner dated from 2001 to 2008, starting when she was 21 and he was 75.

Sadly, Madison isn’t the only former Playboy star who has talked about her heartbreaking, traumatic time with Hefner. For instance, Crystal Hefner talked about how she later removed her implants to feel more like herself (and save her life, considering all the complications she had from them).

Body Dysmorphia, and Body Dysmorphic Disorder, is quite common, especially nowadays. According to VeryWell Health, “up to 4% of the U.S. population meets the diagnostic criteria for body dysmorphic disorder,” with the most common age being between 15-30. And this mindset can lead to eating disorders, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and more, per the Mayo Clinic.

If you think you have BDD, please consult your doctor. They will either recommend medication, cognitive behavioral therapy, or for you to do home remedies such as learning strategies to make healthier habits.

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