Mindset is the way we perceive ourselves and others. It is a set of beliefs that influences us for making a decision, having an outlook on situations, and experiencing emotions.

According to Dweck’s research, people generally fall either on a spectrum of two types of mindsets. Fixed Mindset is the point of view that our intelligence, efforts, abilities, relationships cannot ever change. A growth mindset is a view that our intelligence, abilities, relationships are developed with our effort. 

People who have a fixed mindset believe their past experiences have been so hard that they cannot have satisfying relationships. They find themselves unlovable and labeled in every relationship they form. They believe in revenge and unforgiving their partner. These all unhelpful thinking stems from one of their fixed belief. If we have to put effort into relationships, it will not work in the present or future. The reality is every good lasting relationship works because of efforts through all circumstances. Fixed mindset people believe if couples are in togetherness, everything comes automatically or naturally. Relationship experts reject this fixed point of view as it discourages us and leads to anger, disgust, and dissatisfaction in the long run. 

People with a growth mindset view relationships in a way that brings growth and support to both partners’ life. Understanding, forgiving, and moving on is their solution for hurtful past relationship experiences. Every relationship teaches them more about themselves and their future partner. Individuals in a growth mindset believe both partners’ relationship skills can be changed developed if they put in the effort. Lastly, growth mindset belief is a relationship without effort is likely to fail. We should change our belief « they happily lived after » to « they worked happily ever after. »

Importance of Professional Counseling: A friend or family member may listen to you, but they aren’t professionally, technically qualified or experienced to offer you professional advice. If you wish you can contact us at MindTribe to receive help from our team of expert psychologists.


MindTribe Founder Dr. Prerna Kohli, India’s eminent psychologist, established the company to leverage the strength of the online to make counseling affordable and accessible to everyone. MindTribe provides counseling, workshops, support groups, forums, and eLearning.

About the Author.

Carmiline Rebello is a psychologist at You can learn more about her by clicking here

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of, the Founders, or management team.

Acknowledgement: All images used are open source and from Unsplash.


Nous vous invitons…

Nous vous invitons à prendre rendez-vous avec un de nos psychologues, psychothérapeutes et psychopraticiens afin de faire un premier pas vers le changement que vous désirez. Si vous désirez obtenir de plus amples informations ou si vous avez des questions, n’hésitez pas à nous téléphoner. Vous pouvez prendre un rendez-vous par téléphone ou en envoyant un email au cabinet des Psychologues de Paris 9 (à l’attention du psychologue ou psychothérapeute de votre choix).

Generated by Feedzy