How to Cope as a Grieving Widow

If you or someone you care about is a surviving spouse experiencing widow grief, there are steps you can take to help you process your pain and slowly begin to rebuild your life.

Allow Yourself to Feel and Process the Grief

Lean on Your Support Network

Grief feels inherently isolating, but you don’t have to — and shouldn’t try to — go through it alone. Now, more than ever, is the time for you to lean on friends, family members, and your community. Allow them to offer you comfort, and don’t feel obligated to return the favor immediately. 

If reaching out is too hard or overwhelming, start small. Accept an invitation for coffee, attend a local support group meeting, or call a close friend. Surrounding yourself with people who care about you will ease the burden and remind you that you’re not alone. 

Consider Professional Grief Counseling

While your inner circle can offer tremendous support, you might need more professional support. Working with a grief counselor or therapist can provide a different level of healing. Mental health professionals trained in grief counseling can guide you as you process your pain and emotions. They’ll utilize grief therapy techniques to teach you coping skills that will get you through the hard days. 

“While each person’s path in grief is unique, you do not have to walk it alone. There are so many benefits of talking to a therapist who specializes in grief or attending a grief group. Being able to get support during this challenging time not only decreases your isolation, it allows you to get support and gain tools to help at a time when it’s needed most. In a grief group it’s also an opportunity to share with others which can be a powerful healing experience. Grief does not have a time line, give yourself grace and know that your process is as unique as the relationship you had with your spouse/partner.”

– Talkspace therapist Jill Daino, LCSW-R

If you’ve never done therapy before, start with a consultation to ensure it’s a good fit. Online therapy is a flexible, accessible option that can be less daunting since you won’t have to leave the house to get to your appointment. 

Find Solace in Routine and Self Care

It’s essential that you prioritize self-care right now. Nourish your mind and body by:

• Eating healthy meals
• Staying hydrated
• Doing yoga
• Working out
• Reading a great book
• Doing anything you enjoy
• Getting enough rest
• Taking breaks in your day when you need to 

Honor the Memory of Your Loved One

Celebrating your spouse’s life can be comforting and bring meaning to your grief. You might consider:

• Creating a memory box with cherished letters, photos, or keepsakes
• Planting a tree or garden in their honor
• Writing down your best memories, stories, and plans to keep their legacy alive

You can also find small ways to remember them in daily life. Listen to their favorite song, cook their favorite meal, or keep doing a tradition both of you loved. Honoring your loved one in purposeful ways can bring you a sense of peace. 

Take Small Steps Toward Building a New Life

It might seem impossible today, but you will move forward eventually. This doesn’t mean you’re forgetting your spouse — it just means you’re finding ways to carry their memory while you start a new chapter for yourself. You can do this slowly — even small steps are worth the effort. With each one you take, the widow grief will subside more, and eventually, you’ll rediscover joy. 

“While grief does not have a timeline, many people find it helpful to take small meaningful steps toward their healing. For some, that might be returning to work or to the church you attended, taking a walk on the same path you used to with your spouse/partner, attending the same restaurant for lunch with a trusted friend or family member, watching a favorite tv show, or volunteering at a new organization. It doesn’t matter what it actually is— it’s whatever is meaningful to you.”

– Talkspace therapist Jill Daino, LCSW-R

Explore or rediscover activities, events, places, or hobbies that once fulfilled you. Try joining a book club, learning a new skill, or volunteering in your community — activities that many older adults and widows find fulfilling. By putting yourself out there slowly, you’ll find that doors begin to open back up. Remember, there’s no rush to get there. Take one step at a time when you’re ready.

Embracing Healing at Your Own Pace

Moving from a grieving widow to a place of acceptance is a personal journey. There’s no finish line for grief. Be gentle with yourself and honor wherever you are in the process. Above all, know that you’re not alone. There are so many resources available when you need them.

“Healing is not linear, it goes up, down, sideways, and often in roller coaster loop de loops. The key is to allow the process to be what it is. You are not alone. Seek support from trusted friends, family, and a licensed mental health professional or grief counselor as you navigate your unique healing.”

– Talkspace therapist Jill Daino, LCSW-R