A breakup can be very painful and unbearable for most couples who go through it. Some adjust to it after a while and move on in life and may find other partners. For some others, it is difficult to do so, which may lead to hate, resentment, anger, frustration, and in extreme cases suicidal tendencies.
The feeling of being spurned or rejected can instigate negative thoughts, leading to either harming the partner or self-harm.
Breaking up in a civil manner is the need of the hour. When two individuals do not get along, it is advisable to amicably go separate ways but still maintain a cordial relationship based on effective communication leading to goodwill and positive thoughts. Here are some ways to communicate with your ex.
Communicating after splitting– A couple shouldn’t split up by not talking or seeing each other if there are differences in their relationship. They should meet and communicate with each other face to face and make each other realize that it is better to go their separate ways rather than suffer in their relationship. This will help them to have clarity of thought and maintain a cordial relationship.
Exchanging pleasantries– If you happen to bump into your ex, in most scenarios one would avoid eye contact or any kind of communication. However, it is advisable to exchange pleasantries and ask about the other’s well-fare to avoid making it awkward and have a feel-good factor.
Avoid bad-mouthing to mutual friends– It is seen in most cases that mutual friends are inquisitive to know what went wrong in a relationship. It is important to explain in a dignified manner rather than hurl abuses or criticism. It is best explained by justifying that, “it just did not work out”.
Don’t lash out when you see your ex with a new partner– It is advisable to restrain your feelings and behave in a civil manner when you encounter your ex with a new partner. Stay calm and composed, be polite, and excuse yourself from the situation without appearing rude.
Think before you act– If your ex invites you for an outing or a cup of coffee, ponder over the invitation before outrightly accepting or rejecting it. If you do not wish to accept the invitation, refuse it without being rude, and in case you wish to accept it, then limit yourself to your boundaries.
Breaking up with grudges will lead to further bitterness however communicating with each other in a graceful way post break up always leads to a pleasant feeling and remove negative thoughts.
Importance of Professional Counseling: A friend or family member may listen to you, but they aren’t professionally, technically qualified or experienced to offer you professional advice. If you wish you can contact us at MindTribe to receive help from our team of expert psychologists.
About MindTribe.in.
MindTribe Founder Dr. Prerna Kohli, India’s eminent psychologist, established the company to leverage the strength of the online to make counseling affordable and accessible to everyone. MindTribe provides counseling, workshops, support groups, forums, and eLearning.
About the Author
Meher Sharma is a psychologist at MindTribe.in. You can learn more about her by clicking here
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of MindTribe.in, the Founders, or management team.
Acknowledgement: All images used are open source and from Unsplash.