How to Live & Cope with a Disability

Prioritize self-compassion over comparison

We live in a culture that romanticizes “the hustle” and makes it easy to compare yourself to others. Social platforms, pop culture, and mainstream media all send the message that doing more is always better, even when it’s at the cost of your well-being. 

Remember that your worth isn’t tied to what you accomplish every day. Give yourself grace on the days when getting out of bed or running an errand is all you can manage, and know that it’s enough.   

When the negative self-talk creeps in or you find yourself wondering, “Why can’t I do/be more?” or “Everyone else does so much better,” meet your thoughts with kindness and compassion. Research shows that self-compassion is linked to greater resilience and psychological well-being, so be sure to prioritize a balanced self-care routine. Celebrate even small wins, take breaks, and rest when you need to. 

Create routines that honor your body and brain

There isn’t one “best” way to schedule your days. Routines should honor your capability, body, and brain. 

Design a daily rhythm that supports your energy levels, mobility, and cognitive needs. Be flexible on days when your needs change, and don’t be hard on yourself if you have a slower day. Doing your best is always enough. 

Create a routine that works for you. The key is listening to your body and mind and being willing to adapt your routine as needed. For example, you might:

• Break tasks into smaller, more manageable steps
• Schedule rest periods and breaks throughout your days
• Be flexible when you can’t get to all tasks and activities
• Have a support system already in place for the days you need a little extra assistance
• Use visual aids, planners, reminders, or assistive technology to support your memory and help you focus
• Nurture your emotional well-being by trying to be social

“The essential skills for long-term emotional resilience when living with a disability are self-compassion and boundary-setting. Really caring about your own feelings and monitoring what brings you joy, and making your emotional state a main priority is self compassion. Setting boundaries with others can go along with maintaining your internal emotional state. In order to protect and nurture yourself, boundaries are necessary.”

– Talkspace therapist Dr. Karmen Smith LCSW DD

Advocate for accommodations and access

Advocating for your needs shouldn’t be a burden. It’s an act of self-respect. It’s not only about your own needs and rights; you can help others, too. 

If you need support, accommodations, or improved access but aren’t sure where to start, find an advocacy organization. They’ll provide guidance on how to ask for what you need and help you deal with everyday challenges. Here are a few common examples. 

Stay Connected to Supportive People

Actively seek out friends, peer groups, and online communities that can affirm your experience and identity. The care and support they provide can help you overcome any loneliness you feel when physical spaces, social events, or digital platforms aren’t accessible. 

Lean on chosen family and affirming networks

Lean on relationships that are built on mutual respect. It’s your chosen family and networks that’ll offer you the emotional safety and validation you need. 

Think about the people in your life who “get it” and are consistently there for you. Those who respect your boundaries and are willing to fight for you. Those who will always be there to celebrate you. It’s these relationships—whether familial, platonic friendships, professional, or partners—that will offer you the most. 

If you don’t have this type of support, know that you deserve it. It’s available, and you have every right to seek it out. 

Here are a few support services and resources to consider:

Explore disability-led community spaces

Think about joining a virtual support group or attending disability-focused events to meet people who understand you. You can also follow outspoken activists, influencers, and online content creators who share their experiences as people with disabilities. 

Online communities are especially valuable when resources are limited or accessibility is a concern. If you’ve been feeling misunderstood, are looking for advice, or just want to know you’re not alone, community spaces can be a game-changer. 

Find Purpose Beyond Productivity

It might be hard, but try to ignore the cultural norm that ties purpose to productivity. Living with a disability can mean that how you contribute looks different, but that doesn’t mean it’s not valuable. Contributions don’t have to fit a mold to be meaningful. 

Creativity, activism, spirituality, caregiving, and willingness to learn are all valuable ways to show up in a world that doesn’t feel like it’s built for you. 

“The mental health benefits of aligning with your personal values rather than perceived external expectations are key. Knowing who you are and how you contribute to family and community as a whole is what we all strive for. We are all striving to be the best version of ourselves, and that means we have embodied the qualities, values, and intentions that the world needs. So that when we are thought of, the world seems brighter.”

– Talkspace therapist Dr. Karmen Smith LCSW DD

Understand and Challenge Systemic Barriers

The limitations and challenges you face aren’t always about individual health. They can also be about the systemic barriers you face. Ableism—discrimination against people with a disability—is often about more than the disability itself. It can show up anywhere in your life, including:

• Healthcare
• Employment
• Education
• Public life
• Housing
• Transportation
• Media and representation (or lack thereof)
• The legal system
• Technology and digital access

Systemic barriers like these can impact your mental health and limit opportunities. Self-advocacy is vital, and it starts with being aware and willing to push for change.

Use tools and resources to protect your rights

Knowing your rights is empowering, but you also need to know how to advocate for yourself. Whether you’re fighting for workplace accommodations, public access concerns, or healthcare discrimination, having the right tools will make a real difference. There are several resources available that can support you on your journey. 

Practice access-centered thinking

Instead of trying to “push through,” reframe your thoughts with access-centered thinking. Focus on making tasks and spaces more accessible because accessibility is not about personal preference. It’s a fundamental right every human has. 

You can practice access-centered thinking by trying to:

• Choose venues with ramps and elevators
• Use assistive technology 
• Ask for information in accessible formats
• Plan ahead to meet your accessibility needs
• Customize or update your home and work environments 
• Utilize transportation that suits your needs
• Offer feedback to improve access (for you and for others in the future)

Moving Forward with Empowerment and Support

Talkspace is a supportive resource for online therapy that honors the emotional complexities and challenges of living with a disability, whether you’re struggling with internalized ableism or wrestling with external challenges. We’re committed to offering mental health help that serves your unique needs and meets you where you are. We accept most major insurance plans and offer options for online therapy covered by Medicare, so the cost of care doesn’t have to be a barrier that prevents you from seeking help. 

Learn how to cope with a disability​ through therapy from Talkspace today.