Online Grief Support Groups Can Both Help And Harm

Online grief support groups can both help and harm participants.

More than 50% of people in the US will grieve a loved one who died by suicide, and almost three quarters of them will look to internet support groups for help.

But are online support groups beneficial or detrimental? Researchers at the New university of Colorado Boulder suggest it’s a bit of both.

“62% of people who have lost a loved one to suicide are finding support in social media communities. However, social media platforms are poorly equipped to deal with moderating posts and comments of people who are experiencing intense and traumatic grief. What is healing for some people, like telling graphic stories of death and loss, can be very harmful for others. In this research we focus on how social media platforms can promote healing while minimizing harm,” Dylan Thomas Doyle, a PhD candidate in the Department of Information Science at CU Boulder told Theravive.

“We found that people share quite a lot of stories of graphic death in suicide bereavement communities. However, we found in responses (social media comments) that the communities were exceptionally supportive of people sharing graphic stories. We found that social media is a place where people can anonymously share grief stories that might be inappropriate to share with their friends and family, and receive community support.”

Doyle and his colleagues examined nearly 2600 posts as well as 16 502 comments in the subreddit on Reddit for suicide bereavement.

They then used AI to identify different kinds of posts, like short questions, requests for a resource or a lengthy story. They also used AI to gain insight into the emotional state of the users on the forum.

Of the posts, almost half were a form of narrative storytelling and the researchers found many of those narratives were graphic.

They also noticed users would use forums to write letters to their deceased loved one.

Whilst some of those who wrote letters did so to seek an explanation for the suicide or to ask forgiveness from their loved one, the researchers also found that some used the forum to detail how the suicide had happened and how they found their loved one.

“When people grieve they can share very traumatic memories. These memories may be harmful to other people who are looking for other support, like mental health resources,” Doyle said.

For Doyle, the research has a personal element.

“This research was important to me due to my own loss of a loved one to suicide when I was attending college. I know firsthand how social media can be simultaneously a supportive and damaging space. It is important for me to use my research to help social media platforms design better features to support people during some of the most difficult times in their lives: the loss of a loved one to suicide,” he said.

Whilst online support groups can expose emotionally vulnerable people to traumatizing and graphic stories, Doyle says they can also have benefits for some people.

“There are several reasons to join an online support group. Social media groups can provide a safe space where others share similar experiences, which can help ease feelings of isolation. Community members can also offer empathy and encouragement in a way that family and friends might not be able to, since they understand the specific grief associated with suicide loss. Online groups can also offer privacy, and you can participate at your own pace, offering a level of emotional distance that might feel safer,” he said.

But he cautions that people should think carefully about whether such groups are the right place for them.

“Deciding whether to join or leave an online support group after the loss of a loved one to suicide is deeply personal. These groups should not replace personal support with a trained therapist. There are also several reasons to be cautious when participating in online groups. Some discussions, stories, or experiences shared in the group might intensify your grief or trigger overwhelming emotions. Online groups are also not all the same. Some online groups may be too focused on negative emotions, which might not contribute to healing,” he said.

 “When joining or leaving a group you should consider your emotional state and your personal boundaries. If a group is too overwhelming, listen to your instinct and give yourself permission to remove yourself from the group. Remember that the degree to which you participate in online communities is your choice. It is legitimate to be a passive observer or an avid poster, depending on your personal needs.” 

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