By far, one of the hottest things in the world can be watching a partner feel sexual pleasure (all the better if you’re a part of making that pleasure happen). Whether that means warm and fuzzy, sensual feelings or a full-blown orgasm, getting off is one of the great pleasures of life.
Basically, mutual masturbation is a fancy term for touching yourself — or your partner (or doing a mix of both). The great thing about this type of sexual pleasure is that there’s no genital-on-genital contact necessary — thus greatly reducing your risk of STIs or pregnancy. Plus, if you’re not in the mood for penetrative intercourse, it’s a way to still give and receive pleasure without necessarily including those moves.
As far as safer sex goes, it’s a gold-star winner. Here are five ways to experience mutual masturbation with a partner.
Ride a straddle-style sex machine
If you want a no-fail mechanical assist, the Motorbunny (starting at $899 at Motorbunny) is my ride-or-die go-to. It’s akin to riding a mechanical bull, except with a thrusting phallus and no risk of being bucked. From the penetrative vantage point of this sex toy, I can play with my clit while maintaining eye contact with a partner who’s touching themselves. If you’re feeling more interactive, have your partner sit on the corner of a bed and position the sex machine in front of them for a hand job or oral sex fun.
This is a super-easy yet satisfying position for mutual stimulation. This scenario works well for both penis- and vulva-havers. I like to lie down toward one side of the bed while my partner stands alongside facing the bed with legs slightly spread From this position, my partner can use their hands or toys to pleasure me while I use my hands and mouth on them. It may take some finagling to find the best angle for body parts to connect, but it’s definitely doable with some patience and practice.
Rub & ride
For multitasking masturbation, have a penis-having partner lie down on their back. The vulva-owner straddles them just below their penis and moves their hand up and down the shaft while positioning their thumb on their clit. Add a dab of lube to make things move even more smoothly.
It may seem a little odd at first to lie side-by-side, on your backs, head-to-foot. But if you scooch so that each of you can easily reach the other’s genitals by reaching up between their legs, this can be a very relaxing position. (Not to mention a fantastic perspective of your partner’s party spot.) If your hand and forearm get tired after stroking or finger-banging for a while (*raises hand*), this position allows proper arm support to go the duration.
This a tried-and-true position for when you’re feeling lazy AF. Lie next to your partner, then scissor your legs sideways so your genitals graze each other’s (but no penetration takes place). I like to feel my partner’s penis at the entrance of my vagina while I rub my clit to orgasm. Penis-in-vagina sex is possible from this passive position but by no means necessary to bring pleasure.
So the next time you’re looking for a fun way to spend time with a partner, consider trying a few of these out.
A version of this story was published January 2019.
Before you go, check out 69 (nice) sex positions we’d recommend you try before you die: